Thursday 5 July 2012

Chronicles Of A Broken Heart

As i lay next to his body, i felt a kind a guilt within me, but, it was soon to be taken over by the excitement of the moment. I had passed the night at Pringle's apartment. How i ended up at his apartment i could not tell, i was not drunk but, i must have been high on love. He was still sleeping peacefully just like a baby, no snores, no noises, just so peaceful, i looked at him, the beauty of his body, he was at my mercy, and i smiled to myself, planted a kiss on his lips and jumped out of bed.
I tiptoed into the kitchen to prepare breakfast for two in bed. Of course,needless to say that i had no spare clothing items with me, so i had to make do with his boxer's short and shirt. I felt really sexy in them , but never mind. As i poured milk into the jug, i felt his arms around me, he held me tight, with lots of passion, i need not turn , for i know the smell of his breath.
"Morning Angel", he whispers as he plants kisses all over my face.
"Morning handsome" i replied with a gentle but deep kiss. Soon after, i had my back to the wall, palms pressed firmly to nothing, he was all over me again, at first i felt guilty , but now it's a guilty pleasure.

"Cinema time, Angel", Pringle said, and i jumped at the offer for the fact that i am a cinema addict, how he got to know about that, i still do not know. I had longed to watch an Indian movie titled "i hate love stories". It is a romantic movie, with lots of emotional torture and i must have cried through out the movie.
It was lunch time and guess what? We opted for fish and chips, so simple yet romantic.

As i enjoyed the warmth of the sun against my skin, and stared into the sky, i heard him call my name gently, i turned, he cupped my face in his hands, adorned my lips with a kiss, and fell to his knees. my heart skipped, not a bit, but a jump, the butterflies in my tummy jumped all over, my heart was racing, my blood rushed, i felt too warm all so suddenly.. i thought to myself  "this is all i have been waiting for, the marriage proposal".
Pringle freed my face and imprisoned my hands, gently inter locked with his, he looked straight into my eyes, and with a bead of tear making its way to freedom from his eyes, his long eye lashes made the tears look more like an adornment than a worry.
"I am sorry, i proposed to her last night, but i am in love with you Angel", those were the words that hit me, i thought it was a joke, i was jolted back to life by the wetness of my T-shirt, i had sobbed softly in his arms, i had no strength to push him away.

By the way,Pringle and I met at Shade's  25th birthday, held at her parents' place with a few close friends. Pringle, she introduced to me as a work colleague.I was pleased to meet him, his smile was captivating, my knees almost failed me, my sweaty palms must have given me away, as we shook hands.During the course of the evening Pringle and i learnt a few things about each other whilst chatting away. The time came for the dance segment and he invited me to the dance floor, the rhythm of our bodies merged,and birthed a magical moment, i sensed his want,but, i shoved it aside.

Monday morning was busy as usual with deadlines to meet, i was so neck deep into my pile of work, that i did not notice that i had skipped both breakfast and lunch.Whilst in the middle of responding to an official   e-mail, my mobile phone rang and i picked it up in a hurry and carried on typing, i had not stop to look at the number on the phone. "Hello" i said softly down the line, "hello Angel", i was shocked and quickly checked the number on my phone, but unfortunately, it was not a familiar one. I was drawn aback by the voice on the other side of the line, "how are you today?" he asked . "Fine  thank you,how are you too?". I was still engrossed in the e-mail response when he asked me out on a dinner date, that was the moment i realised that i have being so hungry all day, but in denial of it, just to hit my deadlines. I agreed to the date.

Little black dress, they say is a girl's best friend and a "must have", i could not be bothered to make any fuss about dressing up for the date, so i showered, and slipped into my most stylish bargain black dress, bought at Armani clearance sale, i accessorized  with a wrist watch, studs earrings, and a multi-coloured sandals about 2inches high heels to assist my dinner gait,my neck was void of jewellery. Simple but elegant was my code for the night.
It was at the state of the art Italian restaurant, i enjoyed every bit of the moment, he made me laugh, he is so funny that he can put Chris Rock out of job.We got to talk more, and the rest is history. I liked Pringle a lot but, dating was not on my agenda, as i had just barely survived a heartbreak six months earlier. I told Shade about Pringle constantly and how much i love him. She would constantly encourage me to get deeper into the relationship.

I have known Shade since my childhood, our mothers got pregnant at the same time, gave birth to us within a week of each other. We were nicknamed twins, by virtue of our birth and sisterhood. We graduated from same school, same day, same course, and have been living together since our University days. Shade is the bubbly one, the chatter box , that will make listening to a radio seem like it is out of fashion.
She met her boyfriend Deji during our  year two second semester , and they have being an item since then, they won several couple awards during their University days and even went ahead to win more during our Youth Corps days. Their's is a relationship made in heaven . And the icing on the cake is that they are scheduled to get married in eight months. Of course, it is long overdue as i have always referred to them as married couple .

The sun sets and the darkness takes over, though not total darkness as the moonlight generously brightens the night. I heard the doorbell, and guess who it was? My dearest Pringle, we hugged and exchanged sweet pleasantries. He had come to take me out on another date, only that this time, things would not turn out as envisaged. I would come back home with shattered hopes of a future bride. i will seek the face i once held in my arms,i will long for this man for many years, this night, would be the end of our chapter, the bearer of our tale would put out the lamp that showed us the way.
We went out on a date, and it was fun all through that i ended up at his apartment.

He called my phone severally, but i was not in a good enough condition to speak with him. I switched my phone off, i was unreachable.In the middle of my turmoil , i drifted into sleep, i must have been asleep for about three hours, when i heard loud bangs on the door, running concurrently with the bell chimes, i jumped out of bed scared, it was 3am i thought i was being robbed , and was about to dial the Police emergency unit , before  i heard Shade's voice ,"Angel, it's Shade" she did not sound good, and i feared she might have being harassed on her way back home.

I turned the key and the door flung open, it was Shade, sprawled on the floor, hugging herself and crying intensely. I turned the lock on the door and sat quietly next to her, i said no word and asked no questions , i just held her close to me, with her head resting on my shoulder,i sobbed quietly too, as i remembered what had happened earlier in the day..



To be continued............

Tuesday 3 July 2012

Life as it is!

Life , life , oh! life
Oh! Wondering mind,
searching for what lies within you
Even with your freedom, 
you still look over the fence.


Though, one thing is always sure,
things will never be the same.  
if you keep searching for all that ,
you do not have.

You wish you could share all
the love in your heart
You wish you could be like a bird in the sky
You wish you could just be you.

But this is life as it is!

Thursday 24 May 2012

So Random

It has been a great while since i last blogged. I have been so busy as well as lazy. Though, i know i have failed my readers once again as per my promise of at least weekly update. Well, i have since gotten other jobs, done other things , watched so many films. And yes i must say the one that wrings my head the most is, "Something Borrowed". So weird and crazy, how love can be so random , silent , yet deafening. 
As i type, i do not know what title to christen this blog, but , i'll cross that bridge when i get there. Elections have since passed, football league finals have since  been played and the icing on the cake is that Chelsea won the champion's league on the 19th of May 2012 (stale news, i hear you say). Of all very cause, it is a stale news. But, did you also see what i saw? Chelsea Football club's lucky numbers are as follows...to my mind. 0,1,5,9. Re-arranging it, gives us a clue that Chelsea was found in 1905, and won it's Champion's League title on 19.05. What a way to go Chelsea. The sad thing is, i cried after Bayern Munich lost the game to Chelsea. 
Shut up! did you just say? And stop all these mumbo-jumbo ranting. Well....that brings me to a final christening of this blog. And it shall be called So Random.

Thursday 3 November 2011

Unspoken Words




Words are the most powerful things in this life, most especially when they are unspoken. Today have i sat to write this. I do not know what to blog about, but, blog i must today.......
I lied to myself....i never got to blog that night...Well, i started writing this particular  blog almost two weeks ago, but all i could muster were the few words atop. Simply because, i just could not carry on. So many times, we want to say some things, so many times we need to say some things, and so many times , those things are left unsaid. Though, a saying goes thus "some things are better left unsaid". But, how true to reality is this? Words that remain unspoken leads to feelings that will remain flaccid and never felt. 
For how long are you prepared to keep your words to yourself? For how long do you want to keep your feelings bottled up? For how long do you hope to remain in despair? For how long do you want to remain silent, killing your words and your feelings?
To my mind, i think there is not enough time to remain silent, for say whatever you have to say today, because, tomorrow may never come, and, if it comes, it may never give you the chance. One thing i know for certain is : tomorrow will surely forgive you, for saying the wrong thing , but, it may never forgive you, for saying nothing at all. Say what you have to say, do what you have to do, go where you have to go. Touch your dreams if you can, dream your dream, for it is only you, who knows what lies deep within your heart.
Never give up on anything, not your words the least. For you never know, your words may be the key to your ultimate goal or success. Ask and you shall be given, though, you may not be given all the time,but silence definitely is not the ultimate.

Saturday 13 August 2011

Dignity In Labour

Dignity, is honour, respect, self esteem and contentment. Labour definitely is not pain, suffering or hardship. As i slept last night,through my sub consciousness, i pondered over the fact that, i studied Law as my first degree but never practised. I am more inclined to jobs that would enable me show affection towards other people. A smile a day would do. 
Haven said that, one would think i would practise law, just to put a smile on someone's face or rather be instrumental in breaking a home, or bring sorrow to homes where joy resides. Often people ask me why i decided to re-qualify into the finance sector? And my answer has never changed, it has remained same for as long as i knew i could not go into practice.
Question: Why did you study law, yet decide to re-qualify as an accountant?
Answer  : My conscience and guts are not solid enough for the job.
Question: So, is your conscience strong enough for accounting?
Answer  : Well, at least i will help people save money, pay them and essentially would always try to put smiles      on their faces.
I know that most people still do not get it. As a prosecutor,how sure are you that the accused has truly committed the crime?. As  a defence lawyer, how sure are you that , your client is not guilty of the crime? How true to reality are the evidences and witness statements you are building your case upon. As a conveyance lawyer, you have to tweak documents, so as to save your clients some money as well as get higher mortgage lender bargain. As an immigration lawyer, how sure are you that the gory stories are true? You tweak lots of documents. As a family lawyer, how sure are you that either of the couple is not lying, especially your own client? There are so many of these speciality fields that do not conform with my conscience. I abide by laws, rules and regulations to the best of my ability and knowledge. 
To all practising lawyers, i give KUDOS to you all, as i know that sometimes, you would experience sleepless nights, simply because of the dark cloud of uncertainty hovering over a case. Yet, some how, you always still find a way to carry on, and see  the case to a reasonably conclusive end . Be it the "GUILTY" or "NOT GUILTY" verdict. To you their is still dignity in your labour, and to me as well i retain my ultimate dignity in labour.


Whatever, your profession is, always be upright and retain your self esteem, for no matter how low paying, you think your job or profession is, i tell you what.......there are millions out there with neither a job nor a penny, yet their dignity is priority.


"Always put your dignity first before anything and not your pride, as pride comes before fall. But with dignity, you will walk tall, with your pride by your side and not on your shoulders...."
                                                                            Brownie


Till i come your way next time 
Fro moi to you
I say 
Keep kool.


Brownie

Sunday 31 July 2011

In Pursuit Of Happiness

 Pursuit of happiness is one thing that every human being does aspire to do , and want to reach. But, how close do we all get to our happiness? Well, i cannot say much for that, cos, it always seem like we are all chasing shadows. Money, they say surely cannot buy one, happiness, that , i think is one fact, that the rich can surely testify to. It can, to some extent though,buy one , whatever you think will ensure or try to make one happy.


Everyday, i try to to pursue happiness, but, what i have realised is....... no one will go out of his or her way to make you happy. Happiness comes from within. You and you, alone can make yourself happy. Never, ever think that ,you can never be happy. You sure can! But, this only happens, if you let go of yourself, and try to live for each moment, for surely no one can tell tomorrow, so , always let tomorrow be,  and enjoy whatever it is that today brings, for tomorrow will surely come and surely take care of itself. But, one unsure thing is, one may never live to see that tomorrow. So, why bother.........?



              Today's Quote....
             "Enjoy every second of your time, 
              and leave every next 
             to take  care of itself.....
                                                     -Brownie






At this point, i will like to say, take care and stay connected. Remain calm, and ultimately remain yourself.




From Moi


To You


I Say 


Keep Cool


-Brownie

Saturday 29 January 2011

So Long.......

Hi, yeah, I'm back, being so busy with school, work and so many other things. How have you all being? Fine, i presume.
Since, i resumed back to work in January, i have being involved in so many things, work, school and talent hunt. Yes , talent hunt, being searching for my whao factor, so as to expatiate on it, and promote it with positivity This has ,not being an easy challenge, but, i have since not being disappointed. I have sat for an exam, which  i am really thankful for.  I have missed you all, though, but i am hoping to come back fully soon, And , blog all the way, but, please, pardon moi for now, as i may not blog regularly still, for the fact that, i am still really busy with work and school, as well as putting together my on-line sales website, yes, it has gone live already, but i am still stocking up as well. So, can you see how busy i have being and will still be in future?.
Meanwhile, may i cease this opportunity to introduce my new online clothing website, http://www.somethin4U.co.uk.
Please, do vist and patronise us. Thanking you for your future custom.


From Moi


To You


I Say 
Keep Cool


Brownie